Celebrating birthdays in your late 20s is not the same as celebrating them at other ages, as this phase often comes with a lot of invisible mental pressure. From finding the right partner and getting a promotion to establishing your career and having children, your late 20s can be one of the most challenging decades of life. In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Divya G, psychologist at Aster Whitefield Hospital, and Dr Keya Parashar Jain, fertility specialist at Nova IVF Fertility, Agra, explained how societal expectations make your late 20s feel like a deadline.
Also read | From career milestones to relationships, why we compare ourselves with people we don’t even know: Psychologist explains what drives this habit Life is not a race; however, it is treated like one, and a major source of this is comparison. Seeing friends or peers getting married, buying homes, progressing professionally , or starting families can create the feeling that one is falling behind. It can also come from the fear of making the wrong decision or wasting valuable time. The topics of marriage, motherhood, and career development come up at once, which gives the feeling that one is supposed to make crucial life decisions in a very short period. But fertility is a private matter that does not have a specific deadline set by society. Fertility starts to decrease gradually starting from the early 30s and continues to do so even more when a woman reaches her mid-30s and later. This does not imply that every woman should plan a pregnancy by a certain age or cannot conceive past thirty-five. Egg freezing is one of the methods available for women who would like to consider the idea of having biological babies in the future, but this does not guarantee pregnancy in the future. All the advantages of this method depend on a variety of factors, including the age at which the woman freezes her eggs and the quantity of her eggs. It is important to distinguish between what we genuinely want and what we feel we are supposed to want. Wanting marriage or children is completely valid, just as choosing to focus on one’s career, financial stability, personal growth or remaining unmarried is valid. One way to manage this pressure is to define personal goals based on one’s own values and circumstances. Reducing constant comparison , setting healthy boundaries around conversations with family, and focusing on one decision at a time can also help. It is important to remember that career, relationships, and parenthood do not necessarily follow the same timeline or occur in a fixed order. “The late 20s are not a test that has to be completed within a particular timeframe. They can be a period of exploration, adjustment and change,” explained Divya. If the pressure becomes persistent and begins affecting sleep, everyday functioning, relationships, or one’s ability to make decisions, speaking with a psychologist can help a person understand the source of the anxiety and establish priorities. There is no single deadline for getting life right. Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.
Because their peers are settling down, or feel pressured to enter a relationship simply because they believe they should be at that stage by now, a person may begin questioning a career they genuinely enjoy.
“However, people often compare their own uncertainties with the visible milestones of others, without knowing the circumstances, struggles, or choices behind those milestones,” said Divya. Psychologically, the pressure is not only about making important decisions, according to Divya. More young women are becoming caught in the dilemma of matching the biological and societal timelines, according to Dr Jain. “Looking from the point of reproductive health, the fertility of a woman depends largely on her age since the quality and number of eggs decrease with age,” said Dr Jain. For those women who are not yet prepared for motherhood, the need for proper information regarding their reproductive options should be recognized, according to Dr Jain. “The important question is whether these choices reflect one’s own values and readiness, rather than being driven primarily by comparison, criticism, or fear,” said Divya.
Your late 20s can sometimes feel like a period in which you are expected to have everything figured out—career, finances, relationships , marriage, and even plans for children. When several of these expectations come together, it can create a sense that life is running on a deadline.
