At a small get-together recently, a 42-year-old colleague confessed how uncomfortable she feels when grown-up children call her “auntie”.
Hearing her call an elder relative by his first name felt almost revolutionary—a reaction that revealed more about my own upbringing than her manners. Later, this cultural shift entered my own home. She happily obliged. Kapil? Surely, it should be Mausa-ji or Uncle! Another incident sharpened the contrast. The London-based daughter of a senior colleague fell ill while visiting Chandigarh. Her father called to ask if I could arrange some medicines. I did, and when he offered to reimburse me, I waved it away—the amount was small and I viewed her as family. In the West, first names perform that social function without implying disrespect. Children address adults by their first names comfortably. My daughters, studying abroad, navigate that world with far greater ease than I ever will.
When leaving Chandigarh, she sent back an envelope containing ₹ 500 marked: “Thanks, Bhawna, for the timely help.
A US-based relative, roughly my age, told my daughter to skip the formal “uncle” and use his first name instead. Soon after, while chatting with me, she casually mentioned, “Kapil was saying…” I froze.
