If you have scrolled through news feeds or eaten out in India recently, you already know the vibe – food safety has become the number one national hyperfixation. From Food and Drug Administration (FDA) raids shutting down top-tier restaurant kitchens to terrifying reports of counterfeit ingredients nationwide, ordering your favourite takeout now comes with a side of existential dread. Also read | Twinkle Khanna’s ‘old-fashioned’ fitness secrets are more than just dieting or exercising
At the centre of this culinary chaos sits the ultimate comfort food turned national suspect: paneer. With news of synthetic ‘analogue paneer’ (a non-dairy option for traditional paneer made using vegetable oils, starches, emulsifiers and other additives instead of milk fat) making headlines, every household is suddenly looking at their innocent bowl of matar paneer with deep side-eye. Author and columnist Twinkle Khanna hit the nail right on the head in her latest Mrs Funnybones column, capturing how macro food scares filter straight down into micro family drama.
His strict stance against sub-standard ingredients and ‘fake paneer’ has turned everyday dining into an investigative sport. In her piece, Twinkle humorously details conducting a ‘Mundhe-inspired raid’ on her own kitchen, only to unearth a packet of Shahi Masala that expired ‘around the same time as the Mughal Empire’. She wrote: “Those who want to erase the Mughals from our history books should first start with lunch. Give up your koftas, kormas, kebabs… You can’t have your Mughlai paneer, real or analogue, and eat it too. Her column chronicles a day filled with peak Indian absurdities, tying our collective anxiety over adulterated food to everyday life. When her sister calls to report shots fired near a pizzeria in Ludhiana, Twinkle’s immediate thought isn’t local crime — it’s food enforcement gone rogue: “Was it over fake jalapenos? Their FDA commissioner seems worse than ours. Here, they just have a licence to seal, but there, they have gone all James Bond with a licence to kill. In a country currently questioning every bite on its plate, Twinkle Khanna reminds us that while the food safety crisis is real, laughing through our domestic kitchen battles might just be the only way to digest it. With states like Maharashtra enforcing bans on non-dairy analogue paneer, households across the country are left wondering how to separate authentic dairy from cheap imitations.
She wrote in the August 30 piece, “Since this fake paneer scam hit the headlines, my mother and I have started making paneer at home. In her house, one litre of milk yields 250 grams of paneer. I get 180 grams from the same amount of milk.
Because detergent was used in place of salt, a recent news report stated that students in Bihar’s Nalanda district fell ill. Our old argument continues. Now, it’s also about whose paneer is tastier. Next, I suspect she will start asking whose paneer is whiter, and I may start putting detergent in mine. This is not as far-fetched as it sounds. Twinkle’s satire isn’t floating in a vacuum. It stems directly from the ongoing wave of food inspections across Indian cities. In Maharashtra, FDA commissioner Tukaram Mundhe has become a well-known figure after spearheading numerous raids on eateries, sweet shops, and even high court canteens.
