The age of social media and technology has made everything accessible at our fingertips. As a result, people seek the same immediacy, spontaneity and instant gratification in their interpersonal relationships. However, actual, genuine friendships or any connection cannot be formed on demand. They require time, patience and a strong understanding of oneself.
Event Context
Addressing this idea, Bollywood actor and Miss Universe 1994 Sushmita Sen spoke about the importance of knowing oneself and building thoughtful friendships during a session at IIMUN.
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“Know yourself and learn that instant gratification: now I want friends, now I want to go out, hang in that rave party now, now I need to be accepted. All of this will happen in your life, but be careful about that tribe, and that tribe will come to you in due course of time because everyone loves a person who knows themselves. If you know yourself, you may not make 15-20 great friends; you may make five, but they will last you a lifetime, and they will help you become the best version of yourself.”
She also then shared her own experience: that she may have only five close friends, but they stand by her without question whenever she needs them. At the same time, they also call her out if she makes a mistake. She emphasised the importance of having friends who provide both unconditional support and honest feedback.
This message is important because she addressed a crucial aspect of friendship: choosing your tribe. You may feel tempted to chase friendships because you feel left out, experience FOMO or want to fit into a particular clique. However, this is not the right approach to forming meaningful relationships.
You should first become self-aware by introspecting and connecting with yourself. Sometimes, the impulsive need to connect with others originates from a place of insecurity. Once you feel secure in yourself, you are more likely to form genuine and enduring friendships that last a lifetime. Such friends support you during difficult times while also helping you grow by honestly calling out your mistakes. Therefore, having four or five dependable friends can be more valuable than being part of a large social group. And most importantly, genuine friends will never try to change who you are. They love you as you are.
