Disagreements and conflicts arise when opposing viewpoints are put on the table. But in such situations, instead of focusing on who is right or wrong and trying to convince the other person, it is important to understand that no situation exists entirely in black and white. High time you move away from the binaries. Any viewpoint is multifaceted, and everyone may experience or interpret the same situation differently.
Event Context
What matters is how you approach the disagreement. Bollywood actor Shahid Kapoor spoke about this on Film Companion Studios on September 22, 2023.
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Shahid said, “Everything is right; nobody is wrong. From where they are standing, they are right. From where I am standing, I am right. But you have to do what is right to you, and you should never be apologetic about it.”
What he said is simple yet empowering. You do not hold a grudge, go to great lengths to change someone’s mind or blatantly dismiss their perspective. What you need to do is stay true to yourself. If your understanding feels justified from where you stand, you do not have to apologise for it.
Really, it is about finding a middle ground and respectfully agreeing to disagree. Just because someone holds a different opinion, shaped by their experiences, values and conditioning, it does not make them a bad person. In fact, understanding opposing views can broaden your own perspective. But even if you still disagree, you do not have to apologise for where you stand, as long as you express it respectfully and remain open.
You can also hold them accountable, listen to their reasoning and, if their perspective is fundamentally harmful or misguided, encourage them to introspect. When two opposing opinions are placed on the table, people take the disagreement personally and become aggressive or defensive. This needs to be avoided, as you need to understand that a difference of opinion is not a personal attack.
Try to communicate and state your view calmly and understand where the other person is coming from. If the conversation begins to go south, you can choose to gracefully exit. Otherwise, if you get bitter, then you allow yourself to get affected.
This means, you need an approach that is a mix of empathy with self-respect. You can respect and make space for another person’s perspective, without getting worked up. But this also does not mean giving up your take on the matter. You can disagree, but not all disagreements need to be a battle.
