Turning 30 can feel different from what you imagined. In this edition of ‘Things nobody tells you about,’ HT Lifestyle spoke to Dr Chandni Tugnait, MD, psychotherapist, life alchemist, coach and healer, founder and director of Gateway of Healing, to bring out what 30 actually looks like. This third decade can give you the illusion that life will suddenly feel figured out, that you’ll be more stable, settled, and certain about where you’re headed. But that’s not always how it is, my friend.
Dr Chandni highlights that most personality traits are already fairly settled by this point, shaped over years rather than waiting to snap into place at a birthday. It simply removes the excuse of youth for behaving the way you already do, day after day. But most successful founders and leaders actually reach their peak in their forties or fifties, not their twenties. The pressure to have everything sorted by now often makes ordinary stress feel like a personal failure instead of a normal part of building a career.
30 is considered the turning point in life. The parts of you that were anxious, impulsive, or laid back at 28 are largely still there at 30. Turning 30 doesn’t rewrite your character .
Because of it, so people end up comparing their own ordinary, still-unfolding timeline to a highlight reel that was never realistic to begin with, and feeling like they’re falling behind.
Lists like “30 under 30” hold up a handful of exceptionally young achievers as the standard everyone should be measuring up to, according to Dr Chandni. “Contrary to the idea that your 30s bring stability , many people report feeling more emotionally drained and less satisfied at work during this decade than they did in their twenties or will in their forties,” said Dr Chandni.
“None of this means 30 is a letdown; it’s just that it simply isn’t the reset button pop culture promised. Because it isn’t dramatic, but it ends up mattering more than almost anything else people expected to feel on this birthday, that shift rarely gets celebrated. Dr Chandni highlighted that almost nobody warns you about the quiet relief that shows up alongside the milestone: a noticeable drop in how much other people’s opinions actually matter. Most of what actually changes was already quietly happening for years; this birthday just happens to be when people finally notice it,” concluded Dr Chandni.
