After a long day, the family settles at the dinner table. Each member has had a different day, whether at school, work, running errands or attending events. But instead of feeling like a walk in the park, where you enjoy the comfort of ending the day with your loved ones nearby and have someone to vent to, dinner feels eerily silent.
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The scraping of cutlery against plates, audio from random reels playing while scrolling and the ping of phone notifications are the only sounds as the gap between children and parents at times feels too deep to cross.
Parents may eventually ask, ‘How was school?’ only to receive a perfunctory one-word response. The lull of the conversation continues. Everyone is present physically but massively emotionally disconnected.
Family dinners may be becoming quieter, but they are still salvageable. All you need is a better entry point into the conversation.
We asked Archana Singhal, counsellor and family therapist and founder of Mindwell Counsel, on why family dinners are becoming awkward, and what can be done to increase bonding.
More than simply feeling awkward, the therapist believed that family dinners have become less frequent. This may be one reason why conversations feel uncomfortable, as families are no longer accustomed to sharing meals regularly. She attributed this decline to several factors, including tight work schedules, children’s extracurricular activities, homework and screen use. As a result, you will see that families nowadays rarely sit together, and when they do, conversations feel awkward.
The therapist emphasised the value of sharing at least one meal as a family every day. She said, “I encourage all families to make a concerted effort to ensure at least one meal per day takes place together as a family, and my recommendation would be to include dinner. Dining as a family at dinner is not only a crucial part of the bonding process for children and parents alike, but also a way to offer a sense of security and being heard.”
In a nutshell, what is the objective of this? Archana described, “The objective is not to add another layer of questions; rather, it’s the intention to foster a warm and accepting atmosphere in which your children feel loved and special.”
Archana Singhal has over 5 years of experience. Some of her services include people skills, affective and emotional difficulties, family therapy, grief and grief counselling.
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.
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Let dinner be a daily routine, keeping all work and distractions aside. When you make it a safe space, automatically the conversations will feel more organic and not forced or awkward.
Here are some of the recommendations from Archana:
