You are almost asleep when it arrives: the wrong name you called a colleague years ago, a joke that landed in silence, or a message sent to the wrong group. It was forgotten all day, yet at night it plays in full detail, complete with the exact feeling in your stomach. That is not a flaw in your mind, but it is your mind doing a much needed job, just at the worst possible hour. In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Dr Chandni Tugnait, MD, psychotherapist, life alchemist, coach and healer, founder and director of Gateway of Healing, explained the psychology behind bedtime overthinking.
For most of human history , being accepted by the group meant staying safe, so the brain treats a social slip as a small threat. Seen that way, the cringe is less a punishment and more an overprotective alarm that has not noticed the danger passed years ago.
“Replaying it is its clumsy way of rehearsing how to avoid a repeat, which is why the memory keeps returning even when nothing about it matters now,” highlighted Dr Chandni.
