In today’s time, we have become too conscious about being flawed. Even something as simple as sending two texts in a row can make us wonder, “Did I look needy? Did I look desperate? Should I have waited for the other person to reply? But being flawed is a human tendency, and it is completely alright to double-text somebody. There are so many thoughts going on in one person’s mind, and sometimes you send a message and immediately remember something else you wanted to say. Sometimes you simply want a quick answer, get something done and move on with your day. In this edition of ‘The society rules nobody taught us,’ HT Lifestyle spoke to counsellor Ankita Kaul to explain this dating etiquette.
A lot of the embarrassment around double texting also comes from worrying too much about how we are being perceived. We don’t want to look needy, desperate or too interested. But while you are analysing what the other person might think about your second text, they might not even be thinking the same about you. We often become far more conscious of our own actions than the person receiving them. If your texts start becoming like a questionnaire, the other person has already ignored you multiple times, and you are still asking questions or looking for validation, that is where you need to recognise their space and boundaries. Sometimes, it may also be difficult to understand that the other person is choosing not to engage. Continuing to haunt them with messages can make the communication feel overwhelming rather than harmless. There has to be a balance between being comfortable enough to express yourself and being respectful enough to give another person space. Having another thought, wanting a quick answer or sending another message doesn’t make you desperate. We probably need to stop being so conscious of appearing perfectly detached all the time. Sometimes, sending that second text is just that — sending another text. And there is nothing embarrassing about it.
“Having said that, there is a difference between double texting and repeatedly messaging someone who is clearly not responding,” explained Ankita. “Double texting is absolutely normal as long as it doesn’t become repeated messaging where the other person is consistently ignoring you,” said Ankita. Ankita highlighted that in today’s digital world, where so many things are happening on the same day, we naturally want to be quick in getting the right answers and moving forward.
