Are you among those who always say sorry, to the point where any minor inconvenience has a string of apologies rolling off your tongue almost as an instinct? Why does this behaviour happen?
We asked Dr Chandni Tugnait, psychotherapist , coach, and founder and director of Gateway of Healing, to shed light on this habit and simplify why people apologise. She clarified that it is not about manners, even if you may think saying sorry is about being nice. There’s an underlying psychological mechanism at play here. The tendency to over-apologise is not rare or abnormal. It is quite common. The psychotherapist believed it is quite common to come across such over-apologisers. Now, it is not only about mannerisms. Apologising may misleadingly make you seem empathetic and caring, but the expert ruled out the possibility of over-apologising being about manners. It may seem considerate, but it should not be an automatic response to everyday situations. Dr Tugnait added, “While it can look like excessive politeness on the surface, chronic apologising is rarely about manners. The expert listed out the reasons why people overapologise, outlining the process and patterns: The expert summed up by reminding that chronic apologising is not about manners or being polite and encouraged unlearning the habit: “Unlearning chronic apologising isn’t about becoming less considerate. It’s about slowly building the belief that your presence doesn’t require a disclaimer, and that taking up space isn’t something you owe anyone an explanation for. Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.
She said, “Most people know someone who apologises all the time, for taking up space, for asking a question, for existing in a way that might inconvenience someone else.
It’s usually about something that happened much earlier, and the pattern it left behind in that person.
