In an Instagram post shared on September 21, Harvard-trained, double board-certified psychiatrist and relationship coach Dr Kavetha Sun explained how our core beliefs can quietly shape the way we see everyday situations. Ever wondered why the same situation can feel completely different depending on what you believe about yourself and others?
Her point is that the same situation can potentially be interpreted in very different ways depending on the beliefs a person brings to it. Pausing before making an assumption can create space to ask questions, consider context and recognise that our first interpretation may not always capture the full picture.
“And if you actually take this to heart and apply it, it will change your life. Here’s the secret: There is no such thing as reality.” (Also read: Rising loneliness among older adults: Psychologist Archana Sharma explains why where you live matters for mental health ) Dr Sun explained that what we perceive as reality can often be influenced by the beliefs we already hold about ourselves and other people. “Let’s say you have a core belief that you are hard-working and you cannot tolerate people who are lazy. She then used familiar everyday situations to illustrate how such beliefs can influence our interpretation of other people’s actions. “Maybe they’re going through a rough patch in their marriage, or maybe they have to work two jobs to make ends meet. The same applies when interpreting a child’s behaviour , she added. Maybe she really struggles with math and needs extra help and doesn’t know how to ask for it, and that’s why she’s dilly-dallying.
“We don’t know what’s happening with your 9-year-old.
“This is the first thing I teach every patient that walks in through my door,” Dr Sun said. “Everything that you perceive as reality is actually a reflection of your core beliefs,” she said. “Let’s say your co-worker comes in late to a meeting, or your 9-year-old daughter is dilly-dallying around her math homework, or your spouse said that they would do the dishes and forgot,” Dr Sun said. “You will immediately see each of these situations and use it to reinforce the belief: ‘See, people are lazy, and I’m hard-working, and I have to do everything around here.’” However, she pointed out that the behaviour we observe does not necessarily tell us the complete story. “But in truth, we don’t know why that co-worker is late,” she said. Holding firmly to a particular belief can make us less likely to investigate what is actually happening or consider alternative explanations, according to Dr Sun. “When we have a certain belief, we will not have any curiosity or compassion or further investigation,” she said. “We’ll immediately see this as more evidence of this belief being true.”
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition. This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.
