New Delhi: “Gold”. If there’s a word Sharmila Dhankar repeats almost subconsciously when speaking to the press and to herself, it’s this. The proverbial glitter has, for years, fired her imagination, offering promise for a life far removed from the horrific days of domestic abuse and thoughts of self harm.
Event Context
A year into her “second life,” Sharmila won the National Championships with a national record of 7.40m. She qualified for the 2022 Commonwealth Games in Birmingham, where she finished fourth with a national record to 8.43m. At last year’s World Championships in New Delhi, she bettered the national mark again with a 10.03m throw for a fifth-place finish.
“With success came confidence. Sport gave me a purpose in life. It gave me a second birth,” she said. “I have begun to dream now, and I feel I have the potential to win medals in international events.”
Sharmila’s daughters have taken to their mother, with 15-year-old Anuj taking up javelin and 13-year-old Lakshmi trying out long jump. Anuj has shown early promise, winning the Under-16 North Zone Championships last year.
The mother and daughters now train together in Rewari, dreaming and sweating together. “I guess we inspire each other. I look up to her for inspiration, even if she doesn’t win anything, she’ll be my hero,” Anuj said.
For Sharmila, a medal would mean much more than sporting success. “I want women to find strength to fight domestic abuse. If I win a medal, my story might just inspire them to believe it’s never really over,” she said.
Player Focus
The journey hasn’t been easy. Facing severe financial crunch to fund Sharmila’s career, Ajit sold off their house in 2023. The same year, Sharmila’s mother also sold their farm to assist her daughter.
“I don’t have a house, I don’t have a job, I don’t have a father. I briefly worked as a bus conductor in Haryana Roadways but I need a proper job. I am hoping a medal will change my life.”
Match Outlook
The 40-year-old will represent India in the para shot put (F57) event at the upcoming Commonwealth Games, and when she hurls the 3kg iron ball next week in Glasgow, Sharmila will hope to rid herself of the crushing weight of misfortune that has beset her life.
“I won’t settle for anything less than gold. It can change my life,” she said, referring to the fortune and fame that come with it. “I had a tough childhood. My father was a small-time farmer and there was never enough to eat. My mother was blind, and she had four children to raise. We grew up with virtually nothing.”
That was just the start. Aged two, Sharmila was infected with polio on her left leg. That meant constant taunts at home and school, and with little awareness or sensitivity at Chitrauli village in Haryana’s Mahendergarh district where she grew up, Sharmila was resigned to fate.
“It was tough to hear all sorts of things growing up. Eventually, you get used to it. There’s no choice,” she remembered.
A bright student growing up, Sharmila was married off at the age of 19. “That’s how it is where I come from,” she shrugged. “Things were very different and difficult for women then.” What made it worse was being with a man who would often get drunk and beat her mercilessly.
“It started sporadically, and then it became the norm. He would get drunk and beat me. First it was about dowry, and then for giving birth to girls. There were times I thought of ending my life,” said Sharmila, a mother to two daughters.
Things reached a tipping point when one day her husband stripped her and threw her out of their house along with her daughters. “It was so humiliating. The neighbours were watching. That’s when my family brought me home and I decided it was enough. I knew I won’t go back to that man.”
Two years later, Sharmila married again “with no expectations from life or marriage.” Luckily for her, the decision turned out alright. Her husband, Ajit Singh, accepted Sharmila and her daughters, and helped her find a purpose in life.
source
“He didn’t have much by way of money or resources, but he stood behind me like a rock. In 2018, he got to know about para sports from somewhere and asked me if I wanted to give it a shot. I was skeptical to begin with, but eventually gave in.”
In 2020, aged 34, Sharmila enrolled at the Rao Tularam Stadium, near their home in Rewari, and began training under Tek Chand, a bronze medallist in the F54/55 shot put at the 2018 Asian Para Games who was also working as a coach at the stadium.
Blessed with natural upper body strength, Sharmila took to shot put with ease. “Most athletes hang their boots at 34, and here I was.”
